In these times of tension and unrest amid an ongoing pandemic, my leadership responsibilities to my family business and the Delaware community have encouraged me to continue reflecting on how my experiences have helped develop and instill the values of equality and respect for all. As a seven-year resident of Wilmington city and advocate for community investment, I hope sharing a glimpse of my life experiences provides a positive perspective in these tumultuous times. From my formative years around the foster care system to learning the importance of positive, disciplined leadership during my years at Valley Forge Military Academy, to raising my family in Wilmington, I have been lucky to experience life in a way that has reinforced a respect for all people, without prejudice.

From a very young age our family provided a home to predominately African American foster babies raised by my mom. I developed strong emotional attachments to these babies, and it was very hard for me when they moved on to their permanent homes. I discuss some of the foster care system’s systemic issues I witnessed growing up in my previous blog post; I learned at a young age how severely burdened most of the families in the system are. As a public-school student in New Jersey, my classes were filled with a diverse group of kids, and my best friend in the neighborhood was Filipino. Those years of my youth were important for my growth, but getting sent to Valley Forge Military Academy is when I first truly grasped the value of diverse, positive leadership role models.

My class at VFMA was quite diverse, with a heavy Latin American and African American makeup. I had an African American roommate and a Pakistani roommate. I saw the diversity around me as a great opportunity to learn about my classmates’ cultures and lives that were vastly different from my own. Many of my leaders were black and Latino; in fact, I think most of the cadet leadership were from Latin America. I cannot underscore enough how much my approach to leadership has been shaped by those role models at VFMA.

I was in eighth grade and a plebe, with an African American company commander in charge. I remember it was a big deal that his older brother was also the first captain, the highest-ranking cadet in the corps. Both brothers were members of the school’s distinguished Cadet Honor Council. Our commanding officer (CO) handled himself with dignity and respect at all times. Always on time, with his uniform in perfect condition and in control of his actions. He never yelled, gave clear direction and held very high standards. He had a Latino executive officer and a Latino first sergeant serving under him for the company. It was a very diverse leadership team, and there was never any division amongst them. If he gave direction, everyone listened. He had a tremendous amount of respect from the company, around the corps of cadets, the faculty, tactical officers and commandant’s office. His leadership was unquestioned.

Without a doubt my CO in eighth grade was my first personal experience with exemplary leadership. I revered the way he led by example. In preparation for this article, I spoke with a buddy of mine from VF reminiscing, and here’s what he had to say about our CO: “He was tough but fair. He was not a screamer and everybody respected him based on his professional demeaner. A true class act.”

Here are some photos from my days at Valley Forge featuring some of my leaders and role models: